Eulogy of Sidney Eagle

07 Nov Eulogy of Sidney Eagle

In memory of the late Sidney Eagle, founder of Eagle & Fein, P.C., we share with you Sidney’s eulogy, written by his son, Brian Eagle. Brian first read the eulogy at Sidney’s memorial service held in Berlin, MD on Friday, October 28, 2016.

SIDNEY EAGLE, MY DAD

June 14, 1935 – October 25, 2016.

LIFE IS A JOURNEY AND DEATH IS A DESTINATION.   TODAY WE ARE SADDENED BY MY DAD’S DEATH AND HE WILL BE MISSED MORE THAN HE COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED.  WE OFTEN DISCUSSED DEATH AS WE ARE BOTH ESTATE PLANNING ATTORNEYS DEALING WITH THE LEGAL SIDE OF DIEING.  WE OFTEN SHARED THAT IT IS NEVER EASY FOR THE LOVED ONES, IT NEVER COMES AT A GOOD TIME, IT IS ALWAYS TOO EARLY, AND NOBODY KNOWS WHEN IT WILL HAPPEN.  IT JUST HAPPENS.  IT’S ALL PART OF EVERYONE’S LIFE JOURNEY.  MY DAD WOULD OFTEN SAY, WITH A LAUGH AND SMILE, “JUST STEP OVER THE BODY AND KEEP GOING.”  MY DAD, WHEN HE WOULD SAY THIS WITH US, I BELIEVE, WAS HIS WAY TO SHARE THAT THE MOST IMPORATANT LIFE LESSON IS TO CELEBRATE LIFE AND EMBRACE THE MOMENTS THAT FILLFULL YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY.   TODAY, I CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE MY DAD’S LIFE, HIS JOURNEY, AND THE LESSONS THAT HE TAUGHT THE FAMILY ALONG THE WAY, ONE LESSON/ONE STORY FOR EACH DECADE OF HIS LIFE.   HE HAS REACHED HIS DESTINATION, AND HIS LIFE LESSONS WILL LIVE ON FOR GENERATIONS TO COME.

1. THE STORE MUST OPEN.  MY DAD GREW UP IN THE EAST BRONX.  HIS PARENTS OWNED A SMALL GROCERY STORE THAT MY BROTHER AND I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO VISIT, AS MY GRANDFATHER, HERMAN, DIED BEFORE I WAS BORN AND MY GRANDMOTHER, MOLLIE, DIED SHORTLY AFTER I WAS BORN.  HE LEARNED DURING HIS EARLY YEARS THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE OR CHALLENGES YOU MAY HAVE IN LIFE THERE ARE NO EXCUSES YOU MUST DELIVER – “OPEN THE STORE.”  YOU SEE, HIS PARENTS, MY GRANDPARENTS, HAD NO CHOICE WHILE HE WAS GROWING UP. IF THE STORE DIDN’T OPEN, THERE WOULD BE NO FOOD ON THE TABLE.  LATTER IN LIFE, I’D SHARE THIS LESSON WITH MY SON IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WAY:  NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU MUST ANSWER THE BELL AND BE READY TO DO YOUR PERSONAL BEST.

2. GET BACK TO WORK. WHILE GROWING UP IN THE BRONX, MY DAD LIVED IN A SMALL APARTMENT WITH HIS PARENTS AND SISTER, MY LATE AUNT PEARLY.   I RECENTLY LEARNED THAT MY DAD’S ROOM WAS IN THE HALLWAY OF THE APARTMENT.   I ALWAYS IMAGINED THAT MY DAD’S APARTMENT WHILE GROWING UP WAS SIMILAR TO THE APARTMENT IN THE FAMOUS TV SHOW “THE HONEYMOONERS,” STARING JACKIE GLEASON.   MY DAD WOULD SHARE WITH US DURING OUR TRADITIONAL SUNDAY MORNING BREAKFAST, WHILE GROWING UP IN HARTSDALE, NY AND LATER ON IN BRIARCLIFF MANNER, NY OF HIS FOUND MEMORIES OF HIS CHILDHOOD.  HE LOVED TO TALK ABOUT HIS MOM AND DAD, HIS BOYHOOD GANG AND HIS BEST FRIEND LEONARD, AND HIS DAYS WORKING IN THE FAMILY GROCERY STORE IN THE BRONX.   WE LEARNED THAT HE LOVED TO WORK.   HE LOVED TO WORK SO MUCH THAT IN EACH HOME WE LIVED IN HE HAD AN OFFICE IN THE HOME, AS WELL AS HIS OFFICE AT WORK.  HE WORKED DAYS, NIGHTS, AND WEEKENDS. HE INVENTED 24/7 BEFORE ANYONE HAD EVER HEARD OF THE TERM.   DURING THE SUMMER TIME, WE WOULD GO OFF TO SLEEP AWAY SUMMER CAMP FOR 8 WEEKS.  MY MOM WOULD WORK IN THE CAMP OFFICE SO MY PARENTS COULD AFFORD FOR US TO GO.   DURING ONE SUMMER, EARLY IN OUR SUMMER CAMP JOURNEY, THERE WAS AN ALL AROUND CAMP SHOW.  TO MY SURPRISE, AS YOUNG 8 OR 9 YEAR OLD, MY FAMILY WAS THE CENTER OF ONE OF GROUP’S SKIT.   THE OLDER CAMPERS DID AN SNL TYPE SKIT AND SANG THE FOLLOWING SONG:   “THERE IS AN EAGLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE; THERE IS AN EAGLE IN BUNK ONE, AND AN EAGLE IN BUNK THREE, BUT WHERE IS SIDNEY EAGLE.”   IT WAS A LOT OF FUN AND A REALLY CATCHY TUNE.   AT THE END, AN OLDER CAMPER DRESSED UP AS MY DAD, WALKED IN.   BRIEFCASE IN HAND, LARGE RIMED BROWN/BLACK GLASSES, KHAKI SHORTS, WHITE SHIRT WITH PENCIL/PENS IN FRONT POCKET, AND BLACK SOCKS.  A PICTURE PERFECT IMAGE OF MY DAD.    IN MY LATER YEARS AS I REALIZED WHERE MY DAD WAS, HE WAS WORKING SO HE COULD TAKE GREAT CARE OF US, TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR FUTURE WOULD BE BRIGHT.  THANK YOU DAD FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES THAT YOU MADE.

3. THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH IN AMERICA. DURING MY EARLY YEARS, MY DAD LIKED TO SHARE THIS LESSON WITH US A LOT.   “NOBODY WAS EVER GOING TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.  YOU HAVE TO EARN IT!”   MY DAD WAS NOT BORN INTO A WEALTHY FAMILY. PRIOR TO HIM, NO ONE IN HIS FAMILY HAD EVER GRADUATED COLLEGE.  HE STARTED FROM NOTHING.   IN ONE GENERATION, HE CHANGED THE FORTUNES OF THE FAMILY THROUGH HARD WORK, DETERMINATION, AND A WILLINGNESS TO DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

4. THE BEST TIME TO SHOP IS WHEN THE STORE IS CLOSED. THIS WAS HIS WAY OF SHARING HIS WISDOM THAT YOU SHOULD SAVE FOR SOMETHING YOU REALLY NEED, NEVER BUY SOMETHING YOU WANT.   MAKE SURE YOU REALLY, REALLY NEEDED WHAT YOU WERE BUYING.   NEVER BUY ON CREDIT!  SAVE FIRST AND BUY SECOND.   IT’S NOT EASY TO LIVE BY THIS LESSON IN TODAY’S MATERIAL WORLD.  CONTROLLING YOUR WANTS WAS A BIG PART OF MY DAD’S LIFE.  NOT ALWAYS POPULAR, BUT CERTAINLY PRUDENT.   IN FACT, I CAN’T EVER REMEMBER MY DAD SAYING “I REALLY WANT  . . .”

5. BE KNOWLEDGEABLE. ONCE YOU ARE EDUCATED, NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT EDUCATION AWAY FROM YOU.  HE LOVED TO LEARN.   NOT ONLY WAS HE A NEW YORK CITY COLLEGE GRAD, BUT ALSO EARNED ADVANCED DEGREES IN LAW AND AN LLM IN TAXATION FROM NEW YORK UNIVERSITY.   THE LATER TWO DEGREES WERE EARNED BY ATTENDING LAW SCHOOL AT NIGHT WHILE WORKING DURING THE DAY AND RAISING A FAMILY, WITHOUT BORROWING A DIME TO PAY FOR HIS EDUCATION.   I DON’T THINK ANYONE HAD EVER HEARD OF STUDENT LOANS AT THAT POINT IN HISTORY.  HIS EDUCATION DID NOT END WITH THIS FORMAL EDUCATION.  HE HAD A THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE.   OUR DEAREST FRIEND AND BASEBALL TRIP COMPANION, GARY GEKOW, WOULD OFTEN SHARE, “HAVE YOU EVERY MET ANYONE WITH SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE IN SO MANY AREAS?  HE KNOWS EVERYTHING!”   DURING OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER WE HAD THE HONOR TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ESPERTI PETERSON INSTITUTE MASTER PROGRAM FOR ESTATE PLANNING FOR AFFLUENT CLIENTS.   IT WAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE FOR BOTH OF US AS WE LEARNED FROM SOME THE BRIGHTEST MINDS IN ESTATE PLANNING IN THE COUNTRY.   HOWEVER, WHAT MADE IT MOST MEMORABLE WAS THAT TWICE A YEAR WE ATTENDED INSTITUTE MEETINGS TOGETHER IN NAPLES FLORIDA AND JACKSON HOLE WYOMING, SHARING A HOTEL ROOM, OUR DREAMS, AND OUR PLANS.  I WAS SO FORTUNATE TO BE ABLE TO LEARN SIDE BY SIDE WITH MY DAD IN A TRULY REMARKABLE LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

6. DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SLICE OF THE PIE, MAKE MORE PIES. MY DAD LOVED TO SHARE HIS WISDOM WITH US AND WE LOVED TO HEAR IT.   I KNOW THAT ALL MY COUSINS AND ALL OF THE GRANDCHILDREN ENJOYED HIS WISDOM, AS WELL.    I HAVE CARRIED ON THIS FAMILY TRADITION, AS I’M SURE THAT MY SON, ZACH, CAN SHARE WITH YOU A FEW OF THE LIFE LESSONS THAT I HAVE SHARED WITH HIM.   MY DAD AND I LIKED TO DEVELOP SAYINGS THAT CAPTURED OUR BUSINESS PHILOSOPHY.  ONE OF OUR FAVORITES, WHICH INSPIRED OUR FIRM’S TAG LINE, “INSPIRING PEOPLE TO PLAN.”  WE DESIRED TO ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO PLAN, IT WASN’T REALLY IMPORTANT WHO THEY PLANNED WITH, IT WAS ONLY IMPORTANT THAT THEY PLANNED.   WE ALSO WERE NEVER CONCERNED WITH WHAT THE COMPETITION WAS DOING.  HE OFTEN WOULD SAY, “BRIAN, JUST DO YOUR OWN THING, DON’T WORRY WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING.”

7. ANYONE CAN RUN A BUSINESS WITH MONEY; IT TAKES A REAL GENIUS TO DO IT WITHOUT MONEY. AWHILE BACK, ONE OF OUR CLIENT’S WAS STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY.   I SHARED THESE STRUGGLES WITH MY DAD AND I ASKED HOW WE CAN HELP.    THEN CAME 08/09, NOT AN EASY TIME TO BE RUNNING A BUSINESS, INCLUDING A LAW FIRM.  HE SHARED WITH ME THIS LIFE LESSON FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I SHARED THIS LIFE LESSON WITH OUR CLIENT.   DURING THAT CHALLENGING TIME MY DAD WOULD SHARE THIS SAYING WITH ME, ALWAYS WITH A SMILE AND A LAUGH AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO STAY IN THE GAME, “THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER.”

8. THE LOVE OF BASEBALL. MY DAD LOVED BASEBALL AND THE NEW YORK YANKEES.  OUR FAMILY HAS SOME GREAT BASEBALL MEMORIES.  WHETHER IT WAS DURING OUR YOUTH PLAYING IN OUR BACKYARD, LITTLE LEAGUE GAMES, ATTENDING YANKEES GAMES, OR AN OCCASIONAL METS GAME WITH MY FAMILY.   WHAT MY DAD LIKED BEST WAS LISTENING TO THE YANKEES ON THE RADIO.   WHILE MY BROTHER AND I PLAYED FAST PITCH WIFFLE BALL IN THE BACKYARD, WE COULD HEAR THE YANKEES BROADCAST IN THE BACKGROUND AS MY DAD WORKED ON THE DECK OVERLOOKING THE BACKYARD, FOR HIS “OUTDOOR” OFFICE.    WE COULD HEAR THE “HOLY COWS” AS THE LATE GREAT PHIL RIZZUTO CALLED THE GAME ON THE RADIO.  IN 1997 WE ESTABLISHED A NEW BASEBALL TRADITION.  OUR GOAL WAS TO VISIT ALL 30 MAJOR LEAGUE CITIES.  WE GOT REALLY CLOSE TOO.  OUR LATEST TRIP WAS JUST THIS PAST JULY TO TORONTO.   EACH SUMMER THE “PLANNING COMMITTEE” WOULD MAP OUT THE TRIP.   WE WENT TO OVER 20 BALLPARKS SINCE 1997.  JOINING US ON THIS BASEBALL JOURNEY WAS MY BROTHER, HARLAN, OUR BEST BUDDY AND ALMOST BROTHER, GARY GEKOW, AND OUR COUSINS FRED AND LEON BLITT.  EACH TRIP WAS A MEMORABLE MOMENT FILLED WITH STORIES, LIFE LESSONS, POLITICAL TALK, AND OF COURSE TALKING BASEBALL.  OUR TRIPS ALWAYS CONSISTED OF A CITY HISTORY TOUR, A GREAT STEAK DINNER, AND TWO BALL GAMES.  MEMORABLE MOMENTS THAT WE WERE SO FORTUNATE TO BE ABLE TO ENJOY FOR TWENTY YEARS!

9. LOVE YOUR FAMILY.   FAMILY MEANT EVERYTHING TO MY DAD.   HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THE FAMILY.    MY MOM WAS THE DRIVING FORCE IN THE FAMILY FOR PLANNING FAMILY VACATIONS AND EVENTS.   MY DAD WAS SMART ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF MY MOM’S WAY.  TOGETHER THEY WERE A FANTASTIC DUO.   DAD TAKING CARE OF THE FINANCES, MY MOM TAKING CARE OF THE HOUSEHOLD.  TOGETHER THEY MADE GREAT PARENTS.  OUR FAMILY VACATIONS WERE EPIC EVENTS, WITH MANY MEMORABLE MOMENTS.   FROM LAKE GEORGE, NEW YORK, TO ST. THOMAS, TO JAMAICA, TO CAPE COD, TO WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA, TO HERSHEY, PENNSYLVANIA, AND MOST RECENTLY, TO MAUI, HAWAII, TO NAME A FEW.   PERHAPS THE BIGGEST SHOWING OF LOVE WAS HIS DESIRE TO HELP, TO HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES.  WHETHER IT WAS ENCOURAGING AND SUPPORTING THE GRANDCHILDREN IN THEIR DREAMS, OR HELPING A NEPHEW, A SISTER, OR A BROTHER-IN-LAW.   HE WAS ALWAYS WILLING TO LEND HIS SUPPORT AND PROVIDE GUIDANCE, AND SHARE HIS WISDOM.  I’D OFTEN SAY THANK YOU TO HIM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THAT HE GAVE TO ME THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.   PERHAPS NONE BIGGER THAN IN 1992.  YOU SEE, LIFE IS ALWAYS FILLED WITH CIRCUMSTANCES.   IN AUGUST OF THAT YEAR I WAS FIRED FROM MY FIRST JOB AS AN ATTORNEY IN INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.  BUT AS MY FATHER’S SON, I WAS DETERMINED TO SUCCEED.   I CALLED MY DAD THE AFTERNOON I WAS FIRED, AND AS I WAS BEGINNING THE CONVERSATION, AFTER A BRIEF HELLO, HE ASKED IF HE COULD CALL ME BACK, AS HE WAS “A LITTLE BUSY AT THAT TIME.” (WE WOULD LATER LAUGH ABOUT THIS MOMENT AND ALWAYS BRING UP THE FAMOUS SONG “THE CATS AND CRADLE”).   THE NEXT DAY HE CALLED AND I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS GOING TO START MY OWN FIRM AND FOCUS ON ESTATE PLANNING.  I THOUGHT FOR SURE HE WOULD TELL ME THAT I NEEDED TO COME BACK TO NEW YORK AND WORK WITH HIM.   TO MY SURPRISE THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID.   YOU SEE, MY DAD DIDN’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT COMPUTERS OR TECHNOLOGY.   WHAT MY DAD DID SAY WAS, “YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO STARVE FOR AWHILE.  WHY DON’T WE DO THIS, LET’S HAVE ONE OFFICE WITH TWO LOCATIONS.”   THEN WHAT HE SAID NEXT CHANGED MY LIFE,   “WE WILL HOOK UP THE OFFICES WITH PC ANYWHERE, AND YOU CAN BE MY BACK OFFICE WHILE YOU DEVELOP THE FIRM IN INDIANAPOLIS.”     WHAT WAS REMARKABLE IS THAT PC ANYWHERE WAS E-MAIL BEFORE THERE WAS E-MAIL.  TO THIS DAY I’M NOT SURE HOW MY DAD CAME UP WITH ONE OFFICE WITH TWO LOCATIONS OR THE PC ANYWHERE.  BUT I WAS ALL IN.  SO THUS, IT WAS THE START OF EAGLE & FEIN IN INDIANAPOLIS.  THE START OF A GREAT JOURNEY AS WE WOULD TALK EVERYDAY, CONDUCT ESTATE PLANNING WORKSHOPS TOGETHER IN BOTH INDIANAPOLIS AND NYC, FLY TO MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY AS FELLOWS OF THE ESPERTI PETERSON INSTITUTE  TO CONDUCT THE FIRST WEBINARS ON THE INTERNET, AND OF COURSE, REVIEW THE FINANCIAL NUMBERS WEEKLY.   MY DAD WAS A GREAT MENTOR AND A GREAT FRIEND.  IF IT WAS NOT FOR HIS SUPPORT, I NEVER COULD HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MY LIFE JOURNEY.

LIFE IS JOURNEY AND DEATH IS A DESTINATION.  DAD, YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION.  YOU WILL BE MISSED.  TODAY MY DAD WOULD WANT YOU TO CELEBRATE HIS LIFE, AND YOURS.  HE CHERISHED LIFE, HE CHERISHED INTELLECTUAL DISCUSSIONS, HE CHERISHED BREAKFAST AND READING THE NEWSPAPER, AND HE CHERISHED FAMILY.    TODAY MY DAD WOULD WANT US ALL TO SAY TO EACH OTHER, “L’CHAIM – TO LIFE!”  REST IN PEACE MY FRIEND, REST IN PEACE MY DAD.